One of my closest chosen sisters is walking through a challenging spot right now. Isn’t it so odd how we follow the recipe for the good life to the letter yet come up with a cookie sheet of heartache sometimes? I hate when life is so lifey: wild, unpredictably unfair and gut-punching.
Last night I was trying to sit with her in her darkness (via text message as she lives hours away.) I felt the powerlessness to offer real help so many probablybk felt toward me in my rough patches. I sought to explain how things would look better in the morning and so much different five years from now without being trite.
The image I had as I humbly sought to imbue hope was to remember past this season. By that I meant to remember the huge bag of faithfulness God has shown you, hover above your current circumstances below and project yourself into the future where all is well.
Easier said than done when your life unravels, but at times the most vital, self- preserving thing we can do is dial our brain’s Red Bull anxiety and tragedy-predictors down a notch and remember past a situation.
Don’t panic until you have all the details. Instead of imagining horrible outcomes as we are all so great at doing, what if we forcibly wrestled our minds to think of the beautiful way that our situation might resolve? When we assume the worst and are wrong we are relieved. When we assume the best and are wrong we are livid. Since when did disappointment become the scariest emotion we could encounter? Why is disappointment so fraught with shame, revealing that we are foolish, simple and naive?
I get that life is disappointing at times but when we live in dread for weeks and months only to meet a more positive outcome than assumed why is that brilliantly desirable? What about the days and hours squandered fearing the worst? Who will stick up for them?
I would say that is a rather wasteful way to live. Today is what we are given, just the breath in our lungs. The life-robbing worry we suffer under is a bad investment in which we throw good life after bad. When we assume that life will be beautiful and our issue will resolve and it does not, we have from then forward to be obsessed with and devastated by it. And it has cost us peace of mind leading up to whatever the dreaded thing is.
Today? Remember past.
*not advocating that anyone is to blame for a racing mind or that not being anxious is a simple fix. It is not. It is a heavy burden to lift. What I have found is a few hacks to help with mine.