“Comedy is defiance. It’s a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it’s the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale.” –Will Durst
I have received several comments about the humorous moments in the book Maggie Lee for Good. While the story is obviously serious, some truly funny things happened to us which brought that creeping inhalant of hope which comic Will Durst so aptly describes.
From page 20:
“There were moments of lightness in this bleak time for us. While staying in the home of a Northminster Baptist member, our friends Gary and Sharon had come to visit to bring consolation and a cooler of Happy Bellies frozen custard, Maggie Lee’s favorite frozen treat. Gary and John took the first vigil, and I took the second; Aunt Jinny picked me up when the nurses changed shifts and visitors were not allowed. John convinced Gary to stay at the house instead of making the four-hour drive back to Shreveport as was his original plan. It was dark outside when I went to the master bedroom where John and I took turns sleeping. Jack was down the hall.
I entered the bedroom quietly so I would not disturb John, brushed my teeth, and faced the dresser to fold the blanket I had used for a shawl. John leaned up from the bed and asked how I was doing with his voice a bit lower than normal. I turned his direction and noticing that something was off, I asked, “Did you get a haircut yesterday?” Then realization dawned on me. Horrified that I was mere feet away from a bed where another woman’s husband had been sleeping, I bolted from the room screaming, “Gary Mazzanti’s in my bed!” and ran down the hall.
The whole house woke up to my shrieks. Everyone was relieved to learn it was a mere misunderstanding. It gave way to roaring laughter-a glorious exercise we needed desperately.”
Laughter is good medicine. I love to be around funny people, particularly those with a stealth undercurrent of humor like my friend, Aprile. She and her daughters visited her son who is studying abroad in Maastricht, Netherlands. She took her MLfG Book and sent hilarious pictures back. My favorite was a statue with the little blue book in his left hand. I’m not certain who shimmied up the statue to position the book or what by-standers must’ve thought of the action, but the picture made me roll and inhale hope.
This statue in Maastricht, Netherlands holds Maggie Lee for Good in left hand. I am only sorry I did not see how this act was accomplished in broad day light. So much for international relations! Love this pic.
Sometimes life is surreal in awful ways and sometimes life is surreal in just plain wonderful ones.
Maggie Lee for Good the movement turned paperback is proof of that.
Last Wednesday Night was one of those surreal moments. As I sat and listened to Lauri tell the story of losing her 12-day-old daughter and quote words from the book back to me, it was a wonderfully odd sensation. I was burdened by her great loss yet thankful that she found comfort this book.
It seems my main ministry bent in life has been reminding people how deeply God is in love with them. I felt in High School that God really just got a bad rap; like I had this secret which drew me into seeing God in a little different way. Not that I had earned that intimacy but that somehow God gave me this profound knowledge that He was real and actively loving me as well as those around me each day.
Like an inside joke almost was this relationship I excitedly shared, not to win people over to my way of thinking but just to express the profound truth that God is crazy about each of us. Mainly that if God could love someone like me then you are totally in like Flynn.
Jaimie, a friend I met through Maggie Lee’s Caringbridge site three years ago has been longing to express God’s love to a coworker of hers. She wrote this to me this week;
“I have a coworker who always makes sarcastic comments about Christianity. I’ve been praying for her and looking for ways to reach out to her with God’s love. Last night after work, she made a remark and I felt prompted to take out my Maggie Lee for Good book as the best way to start the conversation. I started reading and she immediately asked what I was reading. I began telling her about Maggie Lee and offered to let her borrow it. She started crying by page 3. I know that God will use His word to plant a seed in her. Maggie Lee for Good.”
Honestly there are millions who are sullied about Christianity and probably some valid reasons why they are. But, as the story we have unfortunately been entrusted with explains, God still loves us. Yes, God allows horrible tragedy. He doesn’t intervene to compensate for the poor choices we make as human beings but even that free will is a loving gift which in his generous restraint he gives.
Maggie Lee for Good was a labor of love for us. I felt an obligation to put down on paper the agony of losing part of my soul and the ecstacy of watching thousands of friends and strangers do a good deed on her birthday. Whether 100 or 1000 people wanted to read the book really didn’t matter to me as it was the only item on my bucket list when I began over 18 months ago.
To our amazement within a week, Maggie Lee for Good cracked the Amazon top 50 for Christian Living Hot New Releases. People like Jaimie have reached out to us to tell us how God has reminded them of his love through this little blue book.
Last week, Jack was asked by one of Caddo Middle Magnet School’s counselors, Mrs. Guerrero, to speak at a meeting for parents of prospective students. This event was geared toward private school parents whose children recently tested for CMM. I asked him what he planned to say about an hour before the event just to make sure he would not quote Hank Hill or something. Ya just neva know.
Seated next to me at home, Jack gathered his thoughts and a serious visage overcame him. He then launched into a speech about how a CMM Teacher is like a triangle (thank you, creative writing teacher, Mrs.Phelps!) He explained how teachers have three sides: 1. Relatable (to students) 2. Academic (they’re smart) and 3. Fun (they involve the 5 senses….Jack struggles to remember all 5 in the video which is the best part.)
Principal Burton said that Jack had a career in either politics or pastoring…you decide.
When Chick-fil-A owner John Roden of Bossier City, Louisiana, heard Maggie Lee’s story at his church in early October, 2010, he wanted his restaurant take part in Maggie Lee for Good Day. He shared the story with his marketer, Renee Wilson, who contacted us and asked if we were open to his Chick-Fil-A Restaurant (and, eventually the other two in the Shreveport / Bossier Area) to join in the second annual event. Of course we were ecstatic to have Chick-fil-A on board.
A week later Julie Babboni approached Renee Wilson in hopes of doing a fundraiser to help cover the astronomical cost of a trained service dog for her son, Benjamin. 4 Paws for Ability is a non-profit organization whose dogs perform life-changing and even life-saving service for disabled children and adults. The timing seemed to be divinely inspired. Typically shying away from individual fundraisers, Renee still somehow felt like assisting in Benjamin’s quest for a service dog was the perfect project for this day. On October 29th, 2010, we met The Babboni family and was taken with this little guy whose life would be changed forever by a sweet, enormous canine named Hachi.
As seen in the video, Renee is explaining that at lunch on Maggie Lee for Good Day, every 29th meal was free, given in honor of Maggie Lee’s birthday and every customer who was given a free meal donated to the fundraiser for Benjamin. Donations included an anonymous gift in the whopping amount of $5,000, practically 1/3 of the cost of a trained service dog.
For three Octobers, Maggie Lee for Good has been a great rallying point around which generous enthusiasm is drawn. Whether it be a fun run benefitting North Carolina Organ Donation, a food drive in San Angelo, TX or even a service-dog fundraiser in Bossier City, LA., it is a tremendous phenomenon to watch. We are thrilled by the divine orchestration which led our lives to cross with so many of you and we are also happy that Benjamin has a faithful companion and protector in Hachi. Here are a few remarkable stories from Julie:
“We met Hachi for the first time on Aug 2, 2011. We had just been emailed a photo of him a week prior! When Hachi and Benjamin met it was an immediate bond and Hachi also began alerting to the Electrical status (seizure discharges) that Benjamin constantly has going on in his brain. It was amazing. Since then the two have slept together every night, and lately Benjamin has taken to Hachi’s bed so they both sleep on a huge dog bed! But at least he’s sleeping.
A month after having Hachi we no longer took Benjamin’s wheelchair to school. Hachi is trained in tethering/mobility, which means he wears a sturdy leather harness that has a handle for Benjamin to hold on to, and then we use a padded dog collar around Benjamin’s waist and tie them to each other with a bungee type leash. Hachi walks slowly next to Benjamin and bears his weight when needed (ie stairs) but mostly helps Benjamin keep his balance and use his leg muscles by walking. It is also a godsend because now out in public we do not have to confine Benjamin to his wheelchair for safety because he would always take off. Hachi is trained to stay down or standing no matter how much hard Benjamin is pulling on the leash trying to get away.
He is also trained in tracking! Hachi is amazing at finding Benjamin, it is his favorite game. We’ve practiced in parks, woods, around the house, stores, in the house, and even the underground tunnels up at the mayo clinic! We spent 2 straight weeks training with Hachi and his trainers, and he it was one of the best trackers of his class! So if Benjamin ever does get away from us at home or in public then Hachi will be able to “hunt” him down!!!
As I mentioned before Hachi also does seizure alert. Benjamin’s has had 3 physical seizures since we got Hachi, and Hachi alerted about 6-8 minutes before each seizure. Since Benjamin usually doesn’t have physical seizures we were very surprised. Hachi is used to Benjamin’s constant electrical activity in his brain, ( he has ESES epilepsy as one of his diagnosis’) but Hachi will alert a few times a day, and that is when Benjamin is having a full seizure in his brain and we are only aware of it because of Hachi, Benjamin may be sleeping or playing at the time and shows no physical signs of it.
His last two things he is trained in are Behavior Disruption, and Emotional Support. We have Hachi “give kisses” or lay on Benjamin’s lap as distractions when he is starting a tantrum and it works about 85% of the time and then Hachi is just Benjamin’s best friend.
Having Hachi is like having another child to get ready and feed and tend to, so it is not always so easy for me, but seeing what he does for my son everyday makes every second worth it.
We did go to Disney and Sea World this past November, and the first day at the park Benjamin walked tethered to Hachi for 3 straight hours, he’s never walked for more than 20 minutes straight before. Having Hachi is building muscle, increasing his independence while keeping him safe, and giving him a sense of belonging.”
So if you ever wondered about Benjamin and if he ever got his service dog, there’s the rest of the story.
I guess I should have known when our wedding cake was knocked over by a flying backdrop what kind of married life awaited me. When I entered the front door of my reception, Bridesmaid Colleen rushed up to me with hands covered in butter creme and with tears in her eyes said, “Jinny (beat, beat, beat…) augghhhh. ” and sprinted off. She did not have the heart to tell me what happened. From eye witness accounts a toddler toddled, the lattice–screen teetered, the crowd gasped and the cake flew. After the top layers were knocked to the floor, the caterer and family members hastily attempted to reassemble the damaged carcass into its formerly iconic pastry shape.
Never bent on perfection, I had the philosophy that I got the dream guy and that made for the dream wedding. Yes, our cake pictures featured icing prominently as a background but isn’t it the imperfections that make for fabulous stories after all? We danced the night away. Ok, actually I danced while John feverishly tried to channel Old Time Rock and Roll Tom Cruise (pre Oprah-weirdness). A glorious day all told, cake or no cake.
Three months into our marriage, I left our one-bedroom apartment for a run down Hulen Street. I noticed a vagarant-looking guy on a bus stop bench facing me, clutching his head and moaning. Paper sacks, obviously his, littered the sidewalk all around him. His shorts were 70’s Forrest-Gump length. I averted my gaze for many reasons and stepped up my pace. I took a left down the side street where Grandfathered fields of Longhorn Cattle grazed next to Ryan’s Steakhouse. I had to wonder sometimes if they knew.
I logged my 30 minutes and as I returned home, lingered on the steps up to our third-floor apartment to do calf-stretches. I opened the door to find John with a strange look on his normally-relaxed face. “Hey, honey. How was your run?” He nervously continued. “I met this guy. Kevin. He was down at the bus stop. His girl friend kicked him out and he says he’s suicidal.” I replied, “Oh yea, I saw that guy.” and wondered as I would many times how John got the back story on this desperate stranger.
He continued, “Is it OK with you if I take him get some help?” Being married brought on the added responsibility of considering somene else before doing something potentially dangerous. ” He’s not armed and he’s waiting at the bottom of the stairs. They can take him at John Peter Smith Hospital. I called to check it out. They can help him but cannot come get him. What do you think about me taking him over there?”
Typically afraid of suicidal vagrants in short-shorts, I felt strangely calm this time. “Ok, but we’re taking the dog and I’m going with you.”
We loaded up Kevin, his earthly belongings and our Australian Shepherd and set out for the charity hospital. John drove, Kevin rode shotgun and Mollie and I were in back. Out of nowhere Kevin lit a cigarette, John rolled down the window and immediately Kevin fell asleep; dropping the burning butt in the gray shag floorboard of my Mercury Tracer. I scrambled to locate the burning butt and we quietly laughed at the crazy situation we had gotten ourselves into. Once at the hospital, John helped Kevin up to the admission desk and the professionals took it from there. My idealistic seminary student was so eager to live out his faith.
And now? Well, the idealism is gone. But what remains is that my rythym-less groom still sees action as the litmus test of faith in Christ. His phone will ring at night and I hear him coordinating a landscape job for a homeless guy, listening to health updates of those who need a little pastoral assurance or enlisting a speaker to present to our church on Sunday mornings for our missional moment. He is a tireless advocate for people who from a worldly perspective have nothing left to lose and certainly nothing to give. On top of that he is hysterical, strong, witty and wise.
I really wonder how God saw fit to give me this person so opposite from me to be my spouse. He’s Olive-skinned and I’m a card-carrying albino. He examines every angle before making decisions while I use the force to guide me. His dishwasher-loading looks like a Whirlpool Ad and mine looks like aftermath from a twister. He completes me and his humble love has bettered me.
This Tuesday will be our 19th Valentine’s Day together. Our first one was a Singles Square Dance. I told him that I was going with friends and to meet me there which he did, a gutsy move for an introvert like himself. Somewhere between “honor your partner,” and “wrong way promenade home,” I was hooked. We were engaged four months later and suffered a mutilated wedding cake a mere twelve months after that.
For nearly two decades my heart has belonged to John- brave in the face of tragedy, honest to a fault and for more reasons than there are words to say, my one true love.
Well, where have I been? Please forgive my hiatus. I have been writing more than ever but not on Word Press. John and I finished the manuscript for the book, Maggie Lee for Good this past week. We both work full time and so through many early mornings and a few late nights, we have created a manuscript.
As I have recounted the months after July 12, 2009, I know what a remarkable story has emerged from our nightmare. Like travelers on an electric sidewalk whose inertia there’s no fighting against, we have been been carried in to a foreign land of loss. Now that we’re dumped off we can either learn to eat weird food and speak the language or clam up in our devastation and languish.
I would far rather read than write a tale like this. I still hate that I have this story to tell and wish I had a tricked-out DeLorean and some crazy-haired professor to take me back in time. Back before I knew what it was like to lose a child and even before I knew what lead to the tragedy.
I don’t have the chance to return, but I do have today. And here’s a glimpse of mine:
My morning evaporated. I knew when I was stuck in carpool drop-off choking down a breakfast bar and Mother Teresa quote book simultaneously that I had already lost the battle. Even waking at 5 a.m. wasn’t enough time for me to pray and slog through my pre-work punch-list.
My day unraveled and left me feeling like an empty can of silly string. It was so serious that after the whistle blew, I was compelled to ride my bike. The beautiful day through which I had been sleep running begged to be appreciated.
Jack dutifully pumped my tires, reconnected the basket and dusted off my helmet for our adventure. Now that Jack is 13 years of age I can only wonder how much longer he will be game to be seen with me and my rolling basket of chihuahua.
This beautiful sight struck me; the pure joy of my stomach ache day. This was my world view today. What did yours look like?
Bossier City Chick-Fil-A is again participting in MLFG this year and I wanted to encourage you to go by on Maggie Lee for Good Day on October 29th and Eat More Chicken.
For their good deed, they are spreading the word this week with MLFG “Bag Stuffers,” ( new term to me….apparently those slips of paper that come in your CFA bag) encouraging their devotees to do a good deed on October 29th.
Who knows, you may be one of the lucky souls who gets your meal free on Maggie Lee for Good Day!
Besides Betsy in Tifton, St. Madeleine Sophie School in Bellevue, Washington, Jessie’s MLFG Costume Fun Run in Fayetteville, NC and Preferred Imaging Monster Garage Sale in Dallas, there are a lot of wonderful Shreveport / Bossier MLFG Events. We are really excited about Shreveport Mayor Cedric Glover officially proclaiming October 29th “Maggie Lee for Good Day,” and encouraging the citizens of Shreveport to take part and do one good deed for someone in need.
Events:
-Cosse-Silmon Orthodontics Food Drive to benefit HUB Ministries.230 Carroll St. 71105
-Caddo Middle Magnet- Coat and shoe Drive, T-Shirt Sale to benefit the American Heart Association (on going) -7635 Cornelius Lane 71106
Oct. 25th Tuesday-St. Mark’s Cathedral School Memorial Prayer Opportunity 11:30am
-Mayor Glover’s Proclamation- 3pm City Council Meeting 505 Travis St, 71101
Oct. 26th Wednesday -Caddo Middle Magnet Happy Bellies sale for American Heart Association
Oct 27th Thursday – First Baptist Church School Choir Concert at Spring Lake Nursing Home 10am 8622 Line Ave 71106
Oct. 28th Friday-Byrd Astra Club’s MLFG Lighthouse Kid Celebration 4pm- Highland Center 520 Olive St., 71104(under large sanctuary)
Oct 29th Saturday- Veteran’s Transitional Housing Painting & Community Renewal Friendship House Yard Spruce Up-9am-12pm, 2204 Creswell 71104
Jack’s Monster Dodge Ball Party Highland Center Gym 3 pm 520 Olive St 71104
Maggie Lee for Good Celebration; Highland Center 4pm- Come have a cupcake and celebrate with us!
Thank you for making this the most far-reaching and impactful October 29th yet!
My friend, Robin, is on my mind and heart today as she attends the funeral of her husband, Kevin. They have two children; Harold and Henry. Harold was one of Maggie Lee’s favorite little people at school. The feeling was mutual as Harold bestowed the highest honor upon Maggie Lee posthumously: naming his cat after her.
There are no words to say at times like these, really. Nor will there be for a long, long time. There is, however, hope to be found in the wisdom of those who have walked the unenviable path of loss, a road we will all journey on sooner or later.
I found comfort in the faith and wisdom of Jerry Sittser in his book, A Grace Disguised. In those pages are his honest wrestling with God over losing his wife, mother and child in one car accident. Here are his thoughts on God’s suffering;
“The Incarnation means that God came into the world as a vulnerable human being. God was born to a woman, Mary. He was given a name, Jesus. He learned to walk and talk, swing a hammer and wash dishes. God embraced human experience and lived with all of the ambiguities and struggles that characterize life on earth. In the end he became a victim of injustice and hatred, suffered horribly on the cross, and died an ignominious death. The sovereign God came in Jesus Christ to suffer with us and suffer for us. He descended deeper into the pit than we will ever know. His sovereignty did not protect him from loss. If anything, it led him to suffer loss for our sake. God is therefore not some distant being who controls the world by a mysterious power. God came all the way to us and lived among us.
The God I know has experienced pain and therefore understands my pain. In Jesus I have felt God’s tears, trembled before his death on the cross and witnessed the redemptive power of suffering. The Incarnation means that God cares so much that he chose to become human and suffer loss, though he never had to. I have grieved long and hard and intensely. But I have found comfort knowing that the sovereign God, who is in control of everything, is the same God who has experienced the pain I live with every day. No matter how deep the pit into which I descend, I keep finding God there. “
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